Lost Coin Notes
October 5, 2010
 
 
Second Life: there is a Lost Coin group.  Anyone can join.  If you join there is a call function and everyone can call even if not at Doen’s house.
 
Sterling and Doen will be posting a series of four videos.  Watching the videos will be free if the person shares their email with Lost Coin.  This is a way to build the Lost Coin email list.
 
What Doen is going to talk about tonight is confusing and seems opposite.  
 
There are words to a song Doen likes.  It says something to the effect of:
Life is not about climbing the mountain but about enjoying the one you are one
 
Zen talks about being in the NOW. Take what you get. Accept what we are, where we are.  This is the way to being happy.
 
Everyone is telling you how to get happy. This is not true, there is no event that will make you happy for ever after.  Therefore, don’t try to change.  The more one tries to get happy them ore unhappy they often become. One can’t choose happiness directly.
 
There is a man who has conducted a 30 year study on happiness.  In work one is happy if they are challenged and can succeed.
 
There is no such thing as happiness in the future only can be happy now – today.
 
Doen and another student have published books.  Sure it makes you happy for a day or two but wouldn’t be better if you were happy all the time before and after the book was published. 
 
JUST BE.
 
Lost Coin is about excellence and growth and growth in life which is different than I will be happy when …
 
Many people in business suffer until their business succeeds and then they think or say they will be or are happy ie when the business succeeds.  Wouldn’t it be better to enjoy work the entire time? 
 
This is what sitting is about – letting go of your beliefs about happiness.   Relax and accept what you feel.  Take what you get and be where you are. 
 
In self observation practice one is training.  If you video yourself you can see how you look, sit and talk.  You can this technology for self observation practice and you will learn a lot.  Video is used often in sports.  This practice is the same as sitting practice. 
 
The practice is not just about getting somewhere but also about the beautiful experience of learning.  Walk while walking, work while working.  If not, then you are a hungry ghost with a long neck that can never be fulfilled. 
 
We are often deceived by society because we are told when we graduate we will be happy but this is true only if you know how to be happy. 
 
Reno and Stimpy is a cartoon. Stimpy needs to get happy and Reno tried hard to make Stimpy happy.  He tries so hard, Reno makes himself unhappy.
 
Generally speaking Europeans are not as busy and they are much happier.  They are not always moving, they allow themselves to sit and be where they are.
 
Being where you are is the only place you are going to get happy.  Let go and relax into where you are.  Please bring this idea to the sitting practice. Don’t achieve just be where you are.
 
One student asked: What did you learn from watching a video of yourself?
 
Doen: My Kung Fu teacher was also an engineer for IMB and liked to use video.  After one year of training I saw a video of myself.  I looked clumsy and weak neither of which I knew.  Two years later the teacher compared the two films and there was a BIG difference. 
 
If you can keep the camera on long enough to forget it is there then you can see your true facial expressions, your postures, your attitude.  The camera is a good tool to use with sitting.  You see yourself as others see you. 
 
Student question:  Does accepting where you are include accepting grumpiness
Doen: Look at what makes us grumpy?  It is usually our expectations of others not doing what you want them to do that makes us grumpy.  Many ways to be upset, to be victims.  One way is to expect people to do something right now.
 
Exercise: 
Sit about ten minutes and practice just being – just being where you are. Then tell me what people thought.  Doen learned that when we sit      we worry about the future, we are afraid.
 
STUDENTS responses to sitting and just being
 
1.   Can’t do it.  Can’t let all I have to do go.  At least now I am seeing that I do this rather than just doing it. 

2.  I am working on a Koan that puts me in the present so I did not really do the exercise. Student has story about where she just let a party at her house unfold without trying to control it.  It went very well – everyone had fun. She consciously knew to step back.

3.  Can’t do it.  Feel super scattered.  The Halloween candy is out and I just ate a whole bowl of candy corn and now I feel all wound up.  I really need a physical practice to self regulate when I am wound up.

4.  I am not energetic today and I just let myself be unenergetic.  This allowed me to feel my body and hear the ringing in my ear.  I did not try to change my energy level but accept it.  I always want to make others happy and I am always entertaining and trying to be upbeat.  Feel better not trying to do that when I have low energy. 

5.  Sitting is helping A LOT and if I do not sit then everything that is annoying this me.  When I sat here today and when I sit I can access another place, a quiet place.  There is/was some chatter but it is mostly quiet and peaceful.  I managed to hold this space for 48 hours but then I lost if this morning at 6:45am.  For 48 hours I felt like nothing could stick to me, everything that was irritating did not irritate me (yesterday – it did today).  It is not conscious.  It is really pleasant – accessing this really quiet place.

6.  I could not do it – caught in the future

7.  The longest I have meditated is 6 minutes so this was long for me.  I think the 6 minutes is helpful esp for my long days.  I too have ringing in my ear, tintinitis, but it helps bring me back to the present.  Tried to empty the mind today and did so for 5-6 minutes. My long days, when I meditate, are easier – I do not give into cranky people. It is the expectation that make me cranky – ie be home for dinner.  I often feel like it is not fair.  I play the martyr/victim really well.
 
There was a discussion of what brings us back and keeps us from enjoying the moment: talking meditation; Conscious in and out of breathe brings me back – not counting, just the in and out of the breathe. Not seeking, My sitting is often about seeking.  Even seeking to be nice and quiet. I always feel insecure because others are more capable and this is hard even when I sit.  I am too comfortable in parallel play, I need to engage more. 
 
There was a discussion about Second Life – when I get on the computer I have 200 new email messages and it just stressed me out so I avoid the computer.  Another student said she is going to do SL when she wants – not feel forced.  She does not want to resent doing it.
